The Dark Side of Winnie the Pooh
You never know when your experience of domestic abuse, psychological abuse in my case, will creep up and surprise you.
Today is one of those days. I hadn’t realised that today is Winne the Pooh day until I was scrolling through social media whilst enjoying a cup of coffee this morning.
I love Winne the Pooh. When my son was new-born (he’s almost 15 now) his nursery was decorated with Winnie the Pooh and he had big 3ft plush toys of Winne, Tigger, Piglet and Eeyore to welcome him home from the hospital. They became well loved ‘playmates’ until his dad decided they were dirty and too young for him and needed to be thrown out.
But that’s not the part that saddens me. You see, I didn’t choose Winne the Pooh to be my son’s theme. In fact, I wasn’t involved in choosing any of the accessories or décor for my son or his new nursery. It was all presented to me as a fait accompli and I had to accept it or be told I was ungrateful and mean.
If you’ve ever been in a relationship with a narcissist (and I hate to use that word as it’s so over-used these days) you will recognise what I’m talking about.
In the weeks leading up to my son’s birth I would regularly be presented with ‘gifts’ – a new pushchair and changing bag that I had no involvement in selecting or even having any input into.
And when I returned home from the hospital with my new-born son after a particularly traumatic birth, I was presented with a fully accessorised nursery adorned with Winne the Pooh decals, lampshades, curtains, mobiles to join plush toys taking up all of the room in the cot. You name it, Winne the Pooh and his friends looked down from in it or on it!
As I’ve said, I have nothing against Winne the Pooh but to have had him foisted upon me, with absolutely no input, at such a significant stage of my transition into motherhood turned me off him for a long time.
If I commented that I would have liked to have had some input into the décor for our son’s nursery I was told I was ungrateful and I hadn’t been involved because it would take the pressure off me. Excuse me? How many mums do you know who don’t want to be involved in the décor of their child’s nursery?
When I mentioned that I was planning on a different style of pushchair than the one I was presented I was told I didn’t know what I was talking about and I should be grateful that he had made the decision for me, particularly as my pregnancy brain was confusing me about what I did and didn’t want!
Winnie the Pooh – such a lovable, effable character but to someone who has been through psychological abuse such an inanimate object can take them straight back to a time of fear and darkness.
Thankfully, I have since had years of counselling, coaching and therapy and can once again enjoy Winnie the Pooh and friends for who and what he is.
Happy Winnie the Pooh Day.
Who do you ask for help?
Today it’s National Pharmacists Day and I’d like to say thank you to all of the Pharmacists out there who help us with minor ailments and provide their expertise to everyone who ventures into their local pharmacy, chemist or supermarket with a cough, cold, sniffle, sore throat or worse, to avoid waiting at and clogging up the GP surgery.
Sometimes we all need some help from experts to get better. If you spent the last two weeks making plans of what you’re going to do but have woken up today still wondering how on earth you’re going to execute those plans, you’re not alone.
To change my diet I enrolled in Slimming World, to increase my fitness I joined a running club. Both were full of experts who helped me to make tiny tweaks to what I was already doing to enable me to optimise my success.
In business, I work with mentors who can guide me. When my car needs fixing I take it to the mechanic. I go to the hairdresser to get my hair done and I see a therapist to keep my mental health on track. I have a life coach. And if I’ve got a cough, cold or sore throat my first port of call is my local Pharmacist.
In turn, I help lots of people to deal with things I’ve had experience in. I work with survivors of domestic abuse who want to turn their lives around and create their own Blockbuster Life. But in the main, I work with women over 40 who are reclaiming their life.
There is no shame in asking for help from anyone. To acknowledge you’re not the expert in everything is a strength, as is asking for help and support.
Who can you ask TODAY to help you to execute your plans? If you do nothing else, just identify who they are.
What does it take to be a Golden Globe winner?
In the early hours of this morning (GMT) the Golden Globes were awarded in the USA.
The Golden Globes recognises excellence in film and television. It’s just one of a number of awards ceremonies throughout the year which recognises the stars from the world of Creative Arts.
It’s easy to look at the nominees and winners and think that they’ve had it easy and everything just falls into their laps. What we often fail to consider is the years of hard work and struggle they’ve gone through before landing their breakthrough role. Most of them will have trained in their craft and will have spent years honing the craft.
Reclaiming YOUR Life, Creating YOUR Blockbuster or Golden Globe Life is exactly the same. First of all we need to decide to change, from there we need to work out what to do and then work at it, every single day.
How often have you heard an ‘overnight success’ saying that it’s taken them 10 years to become an ‘overnight success’?
Whomever the award winners are tonight, they’re all winners in my view. At some stage they all decided to be the star of their own show and create their own Blockbuster Life. It’s possible for you to do the same too. You just need to decide that NOW is the time to reclaim your life and create YOUR Blockbuster life.
We’re all different and whatever YOUR Blockbuster Life looks like is absolutely perfect for you. Now you just need to take action to make it YOUR reality so that one day, you too can be your own Golden Globes winner.
If you think that NOW might be the time to Reclaim YOUR life and start rewriting your script so that you become the Golden Globe winner of your own life, take a look here: https://joinnow.live/s/pW5adQ
#goldenglobes #blockbusterlife #winner #newyear #awards #freshstart #work #overnightsuccess
Do you soar like an Eagle?
Today is National Bird Day and as I sit watching the birds in the garden fight over the nuts and seeds in the bird feeder I’m reminded of my grandfather, my Pappa, as I used to call him.
Pappa loved watching the birds in his garden and on his home-made bird table and instilled a love of wildlife in me from an early age. I have fond memories of feeding the birds, helping him on the garden and on his vegetable patch and of going for long walks with him, often past fields of horses when he would miraculously produce a sugar-cube, carrot or apple from his pocket so that my sister and I could feed the horses who would come to the gate for us to stroke them.
On National Bird Day though I’m reminded of him towards the end of his life. He was quite a quiet man and absolutely adored my Nan and if he was being teased, in the way we often tease our loved ones about little quirks they have, he would smile and laugh and say “it’s di
fficult to soar like an Eagle when you’re surrounded by Turkeys!”
One year when he was in his late eighties, I spotted a mug with that phrase on it and bought it for him for his birthday. I remember the smile on his face and his chuckle as he exclaimed that “at least one person in this family understands my predicament”. I was always very, very close to my Pappa and to this day I miss him terribly. That memory always brings a smile to my face.
But the phrase has stayed with me. I have no idea where he first heard it, undoubtedly it was in a documentary or a comedy he’d seen on TV or in a book or newspaper. The internet hadn’t been invented back then!
It reminds me of all the personal development and coaching books I’ve read, seminars I’ve attended and mentors I’ve worked with who recommend we ‘find our tribe’ in today’s parlance.
But what does that mean? For me, it means surrounding myself with like-minded people, people who support me and encourage me to be the absolute best ‘me’ I can be. Those who support and encourage me through my lows and celebrate and trumpet my wins. Those who challenge me and stretch me, who provide a steadying arm when I’m fearful and who help to shine a bright light on me when I’m front and centre doing the things I absolutely love and was born to do. And when it comes to reclaiming your life you need to be surrounded by people who can help you to soar like an Eagle.
Who do you have in your team who enables you to soar like an Eagle? Who are the turkeys you want to spend less time with?
Only you know the answer to those questions and only you can do something to change it.
As you ponder that thought, I’m going to leave you and get back to watching the birds in the garden and thinking about my Pappa whilst I enjoy my morning coffee. If I sit for long enough I can almost smell his pipe tobacco!
Does your life resemble a Sci-Fi?
What does Science Fiction mean to you?
Does your life resemble Sci-Fi or do you keep your feet firmly rooted in reality?
Sci-Fi for me is always bittersweet. When I was married I had no choice but to sit through countless re-runs of all the StarWars films and despite them being hugely successful box-office hits with millions of fans around the World, they leave me cold due to the negative associations I have with them.
Prior to that I used to quite enjoy the rickety sets of Star Trek and the wildly unbelievable storylines. I always marvelled at the creativity of the script writers. My firm favourite was a BBC TV series called Blake’s 7 which ran from 1978 to 1981 with some equally dubious sets and storylines. Of course today, Dr Who is the firm favourite although I haven’t religiously watched it since the days of Tom Baker. I know, I’m giving my age away now!
When we’ve made plans to change or reclaim our lives it can sometimes feel like we’re creating a sci-fi drama but unless we make a start, all it will be is a slightly far-fetched script that someone one day might pick up and run with.
What if we picked up that script and took some tiny steps towards making it a reality, no matter how rickety? Is it possible we could turn that script into something that we love?
Unless we start, by taking really tiny steps, we’ll never know.
What have you got to lose?
Pull out those plans today, that sci-fi script and work out what tiny step you could take right now towards making it become a cult series. You might even surprise yourself and destroy the ‘cling-ons’ of self-doubt, lack of confidence and fear in the process.
Now that would really be a Sci-Fi worth watching!