I know that’s quite a forward question to be asking, particularly if we haven’t yet met or spoken but it’s something I’m interested to know.  How kinky are you in your relationship?

A general definition of the term ‘kinky’ refers to anything that is quirky, a bit different, offbeat but more usually this refers to sexual acts or practices that are seen as weird or odd.  For example, many would consider a foot fetish to be kinky but to others that is perfectly normal.  Many people believed E L James’ “Fifty Shades of Grey” Trilogy promoted kinky sex but many others found it just too tame and ‘vanilla’.

From my point of view kink is a perfectly acceptable part of any consensual relationship and kinks are as wide and varied as us humans.  As long as both parties are comfortable with the kink then that’s absolutely fine.

However, when I ask the question ‘How Kinky are you in your relationship?’ I’m not actually talking about sexual kinks here.  When I’m coaching I use the acronym KINKY to identify areas to work on when establishing or re-establishing a robust, healthy relationship.  Here’s what the acronym stands for;

Kindness – how kind are you to your partner?

Interested & Interesting – how interested are you in your partner and how interesting are you?

Nurturing – how do you nurture your partner and your relationship?

Keen – how keen are you in your relationship?

Yourself – how much of yourself do you bring to your relationship?

These may seem really simple questions at first glance but delve a little deeper into the world of kinky and you’ll be surprised at what comes up – every pun intended!.

Over the coming weeks I will be exploring each of these questions further and elaborating upon them and the impact they have but, in the meantime, I ask again, How Kinky are you in your relationship?