I had everything planned.
I knew exactly what I was going to do.
I had everything for my business planned to the ‘nth degree.
I was counting down the days until my son returned to education (he’s starting Sixth Form Drama College this year) and then it was going to be all systems go.
I was really excited, in that ‘Back to School‘, New Year, New Start way many of us feel at this time of year.
But then I was brought down to earth with a bump.
My son tested positive for Covid and missed the first two days of his new adventure.
My plans, so carefully mapped out, would have to wait at least another week.
I went into full on nurturing mum mode and dropped everything to ensure he was OK.
I was worried, we’d nearly lost my mum to Covid earlier this year, this was my boy, my baby. At 6 feet tall he suddenly seemed tiny and vulnerable, just like that long but delicate little baby I first met over 16-years ago.
Some things I’d planned got done but lots didn’t.
As my son started to improve, so I started to catch up. Then my partner suggested I took Friday off as I always do.
I was reticent at first, I had so much work to catch up on. But he insisted, having kept his Friday free to spend with me as he always does.
We compromised; I did some urgent work in the morning then we went out for the day.
We visited The National Arboretum at Westonbirt Arboretum, a day in the fresh air, surrounded by trees and absorbing their energy, their strength.
As we walked hand in hand through the acres of the Arboretum I felt the stress melting away, and we started to talk about our hopes, dreams and desires, reconnecting.
I felt calmness return.
We talked about our relationship, acknowledging that it seemed to have drifted recently because we’d both been so busy and not made each other a priority.
We talked about my son and our elderly parents.
We talked about what we each need to fulfil our own individual needs and dreams.
It was much needed time together to reconnect.
So when I got home and found that the technology hadn’t worked, my social media hadn’t scheduled and my authenticator app had lost all of the accounts stored in it, I didn’t panic, I didn’t cry.
Yes, I got annoyed but also recognised that it can all be fixed and starting putting plans into motion to fix it.
What was most important was that I stepped into selfish and spent time on my relationships;
My relationship with myself
My relationship with my partner
My relationship with my son
I spent time thinking about and planning my relationship;
With my parents
With my clients
Relationships take time. They take effort, they take commitment. Sometimes the best laid plans fall by the wayside, but if you’ve put the footwork in before and you make the effort to reconnect after, then those crises soon become little blips that can soon be overcome.
What could have been a mountain of a crisis, has been a mole hill that is being easily overcome.
What can you do today, this week to ensure future crises only become little blips?
What can you do today to Bring back the Bliss into all of your relationships?
As I sipped my early morning cup of tea looking through the patio windows at the deer in the frosty field at the end of the garden my partner came alongside me, slipped his arm around my waist and stood sipping his tea just enjoying the moment watching the deer as they tentatively made their way through the field and back into the safety of the hedgerow as the dawn made way for the day ahead.
I was reminded of why I fell in love with him.
We first met 23 years ago and my precise thought on first meeting him was ‘I wouldn’t want to meet you in a dark alley’. He was, back then, built like the proverbial brick outhouse. (The photo shows us in 1997, he’d taken me hiking and camping on Dartmoor on New Year’s Eve. We were celebrating the New Year in The Plume of Feathers, Princetown, Dartmoor )
A former Royal Marine and a rugby player. His chest and shoulders were almost as broad as he was tall and he had a mop of unruly curly blonde hair. He was a formidable figure who you’d think twice about messing with! I also remember thinking how rude he was as he cut into a conversation I was having with the object of my desire at the time. This was the first opportunity I’d had to speak to said object of desire and here was this rude man ruining my chance!
Little did I know at that stage that we would end up dating for a year before going our separate ways and then meeting up again some 15 years later. But that’s another story for another day (or join me at the Introbiz Global Summit where I share that part of the story).
As we stood marvelling in the beauty in front of us, I was reminded this morning of one of our first dates, the time I knew that he really was ‘The One’. It didn’t hit me like a bolt from the blue, more sidled upon me unexpectedly and was met with total calm acceptance.
He had decided we were going to go for a walk. This was a full on long walk with maps and walking boots and waterproof jackets, he even took a rucksack. And I had a fabulous time. As was a feature of our relationship then we spent the entire time talking about anything and everything. Talking remains an important feature of our relationship today.
It was on that walk that I recognised that here was a man who shared the same love and passion for the countryside and nature as I do. As a child I’d had an almost encyclopaedic knowledge of the flora and fauna of the British countryside and shortly after we split up back then, I studied for a Diploma in Countryside Management because he had reignited the passion that many of my previous relationships had extinguished. He went on to qualify as an International Mountain Leader, using his passion to lead expeditions in some of the remotest parts of the World.
Fast forward 22 years and that common passion is still something that bonds us. Quietly enjoying the wonder of the wildlife that roams in the field beyond our garden gives us shared moments of bliss and awe that no words can convey. And our unspoken understanding of each others’ passion for nature and wildlife means that when it comes to planning our holidays we get inordinately excited about the prospect of a cold, icy February week on a narrowboat somewhere in the middle of the British countryside with almost no-one else around except for kingfishers, herons, foxes, the occasional stoat or weasel, coots, moor hens and numerous other birds and wildlife.
On paper, we really shouldn’t work, we are, on the face of it, total opposites but we have shared values and principles and a deep-rooted shared passion. Our differences create an opportunity to learn from each other to make our bond stronger, and we enjoy learning from each other.
What passion do you share with your partner? What can you learn from your partner?
For ideas on how to ignite that passion and find out how you and your partner can learn for each other register for my next free live training